My blog page is a place where I'm serving the Lord through encouraging others.

About Me

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Bullhead City, Arizona, United States
I am a 50 yr young disabled woman with many chronic painful physical afflictions & a illness. I am married to a wonderful man with 2 adult children. I grew up in & out of church. One of my Uncles is a recently retired Pastor . I have been saved since 1996. I love serving the Lord & fellow-shipping with my church family,family/friends! I started this blog because I was inspired and encouraged by a couple of friends blogs and felt the Lord prompting me to start a blog page after our Women's Retreat in August 2009 to use the gift of encouragement he has given me to journal what he is doing in my life and to pass on to others articles that encourage me and help me in my walk with the Lord. My prayer is that you will feel the love of Jesus and that you will be inspired and encouraged by my post. I'm just a servant Girl and a Broken Vessel called to be a Heiress of Light for the Lord. The things I post will be from my heart and things that speak to my heart. Sometimes I will just journal about Life,Family etc. My prayer is that my blog will be a source of encouragement to all my friends, family members and followers.

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Saturday, May 7, 2016


This Devotional by Holly Gerth really ministered to my heart. So I had to share it on my Personal Blog page today {}.  My precious Mama went home to be with the Lord on 1-2-09 . It has been 7 years and I miss her so deeply still. So Mother's day is a bittersweet time for me and my Siblings as well as some of my closest BFFS whose Mamas are in Heaven.  And some of my Siblings and BFFS have children in Heaven as well. I also have a child I miscarried 24 years ago that I never got to meet outside or hold outside of my womb. My hope is that my Siblings, Friends, followers and readers who have lost their Mothers, have a difficult relationship with their Mothers and vice Versa and those Mothers who have lost a child  are ministered to and comforted by this blog repost. And I wish you all a Happy and Blessed Mother's Day and I'm praying for and thinking about all of you ladies & my Baby brother who feel that Mother's day is also a bittersweet day. May God comfort all of your grieving hearts and bless you all with His comfort, peace, love and bless you all with more love and joy than your hearts can hold this Mother's Day and that you may know how deeply our Heavenly Father and your loved ones love you. <3


                                 WHEN MOTHER'S DAY IS DIFFICULT
                                            by Holley Gerth April 29, 2016
           If Mother's Day is going to be difficult this year... Consider sharing this with a friend who needs encouragement {Holly Gerth}

Soon we’ll celebrate Mother’s Day once again. For many families, it’s a time of celebration, appreciation, and joy. But for others, it’s one of the most difficult days of the year. This is especially true for women facing infertility or those who have recently experienced the loss of a mother, daughter, or other loved one.

I know what it’s like for Mother’s Day to be difficult. My husband and I struggled with infertility for almost a decade and experienced loss along the way. While we learned to live in hope and God eventually gave us a daughter (we adopted her when she was twenty-one years old!), we still remember the hurt and how holidays could bring it to the surface.

I also know what it’s like for Mother’s Day to be difficult because of experiences from working as a writer for DaySpring. Each year we would receive several letters from people thanking us for our “Difficult Mother’s Day” cards. One woman who wrote to express her appreciation said, “I spent seven very painful Mother’s Days longing for motherhood while dealing with infertility and the losses of eight children through miscarriage and failed adoptions. I’ve also seen my own mother’s grief and struggle through Mother’s Day after the death of her mother. And I have many friends in less-than-ideal situations either with prodigal children, abusive/estranged mother or children, loss of a child, and more.”

And finally, I know because of my training as a licensed counselor who has had the sacred honor of grieving alongside many women. I’ve learned that experiencing sadness on special occasions is a normal part of loss and longing. These days often serve as reminders of what we have let go or do not yet have.

So as Mother’s Day comes this year, I’d like to share a few thoughts from my heart to yours.

Embrace Your Emotions

First, if Mother’s Day is difficult for you then give yourself permission to grieve. When holidays come, we often put expectations on ourselves to feel a certain way. We may think, “This is a special occasion. I have to put on a happy face and make the best of it.” But it’s okay to feel sad and even cry. As the authors of The Empty Chair: Handling Grief on Holidays and Special Occasions say simply and powerfully, “We grieve because we loved.”

It’s also helpful to realize that emotions are not good or bad. They are just messengers that tell us about what’s going on in our lives. Sadness tells us, “You’ve lost something or someone important to you.” It’s not a sin to feel sad. Jesus often experienced sadness and the Bible says he was “a man of sorrows, and familiar with grief” (Isaiah 53:3 NIV).

Many other godly people in the Bible experienced sadness and grief. In Psalm 13 King David pours out his heart to the Lord and asks, “How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?” He does end by saying, “I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me.” Does that mean we need to go from feeling broken to blessed in just a few lines? No, absolutely not. But it does show us something important about emotions. They are meant as stops along life’s journey rather than destinations. If you continually feel sad over a lengthy period of time or it seems as if there is no hope at all, then consider getting help from a professional.  

Sometimes we need to help others understand our sadness. People who are trying to comfort us may say things like, “Don’t worry. I know you’ll have a baby.” Or they may say, “Your loved one is in a better place now.” Words like these can make us feel that guilt for being sad. Just remember that people who say these things are really trying to tell us, “I care about you. Your pain matters to me. I want you to feel better. So I’m trying to think of anything I can say to you that will help.” Sometimes we need to gently share with those around us that what we really need is for them to just be there and to listen.

We may even need to give them permission to not say anything. For example, we can say, “I know you may not know what to say. So I just wanted to tell you that you don’t have to say anything. When you’re just with me and you listen, that gives me a lot of comfort.” This will probably be a huge relief to those who love us and truly want to help but don’t know how. Many of DaySpring’s best-selling cards have messages like this. For example, one card says, “At a time when words are hard to find…I just want you to know I’m praying for you.”

Seek Support

Sometimes we need to be alone to experience our emotions, but usually it is wise to seek support. From the very beginning of creation, God said it wasn’t good for man to be alone. This is especially true when we are grieving. Jesus modeled this when he was in the Garden of Gethsemane. He brought several of his disciples with him and said, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me” (Matthew 26:38 NIV).  

Support can take many different forms. Hopefully, you have close friends and family members who can walk through this time with you. It’s important that you don’t assume they know you need their comfort. Unless they have experienced a similar loss, they don’t know what it’s like. So don’t be afraid to call them or tell them what you need. You won’t be imposing. They may want to help but don’t know what to do so they will probably be relieved if you let them know.

Even family members and close friends can grow weary at times, so it’s helpful to have other sources of support. Counselors can be a great source of support because they’re trained to work with loss and can offer an objective viewpoint. Because they are an outside party, their own grief won’t complicate their ability to deal with yours.

Support groups can also be a great source of comfort. It helps to talk with others who know what you’re going through. You can learn from those who are further down the road than you are and offer help to those just beginning their journey. Support groups can be formally organized or they can be more casual, such as a group of women going through infertility meeting for a monthly lunch.

Of course, our strongest supporter will always be God. This may not feel as if it is true, especially after or during a time of loss in our lives. Right now you may be angry at God, disappointed in him, or feel as if you don’t have any faith left at all. That’s normal and many people in the Bible experienced the same thing. God understands that you are hurt. It’s okay to bring all of those feelings to him.

Normal grief and mourning can turn into serious depression. One of the symptoms of depression is withdrawing and isolating ourselves from others. If you find you are cutting of relationships, have no desire to be with other people, and are spending much more time alone than usual, it may be a sign that you need help to deal with your depression.

Do Something Special  

The next thing you can do if Mother’s Day is difficult is to take some action. While doing something special when you are sad may feel a bit overwhelming, it is important because it helps us face our grief directly. It also helps us to be proactive rather than reactive in addressing our loss. Many people think that it’s better to avoid or bury their grief. But the opposite is actually true. Healing only comes when we acknowledge and embrace our losses. As Dr. Gary Oliver says, “If you bury an emotion, it’s always buried alive.”

The kind of action you take depends on your personality and the nature of your loss. For example, if you lost your mother then you might write her a letter. If you lost an unborn child, you might donate to a crisis pregnancy center in his or her honor. You and your spouse might look at photos of the sister you lost to breast cancer or visit a place where you used to go together. You may think, “But that will make me sad!” That’s okay. Experiencing grief is part of healing.

Grief and Trauma Counselor H. Norman Wright even recommends a “programmed cry” in which you set aside a specific time to grieve and place yourself in an environment where you are able to do so. He says in Recovering from Losses in Life, “Some of us have never learned to cry. We are afraid to really let go with our tears. We live with fears and reservations about crying. We cry on the inside but never on the outside.” Each time you allow yourself to grieve through tears, it will become a little bit easier to do so.  

You can also simply do something nice for yourself. If you enjoy going to restaurants, then have a special meal with a friend or spouse. If you like taking long walks or bubble baths, make time in the day for that activity. Part of getting through grief is taking care of you.  As long as it isn’t something harmful or numbing, doing something special for yourself can help you through a difficult day.

Hold Onto Hope

Finally, if Mother’s Day is difficult for you this year then hold onto hope. The Lord brought this phrase to my heart many times during the years I struggled with infertility.

I remember at one point in my journey it seemed as if I couldn’t take another step. In addition to infertility, I was facing several other losses. In my mind, I saw myself in a dark cave sitting with my head on my knees in despair. But then I sensed the Lord gently and lovingly speak to my heart, “You’re in this cave but you have a choice. You can sit in despair or you can diamond-mine your difficulties.” I decided that if I was going to be stuck in this cave, I was not leaving empty-handed. I was taking every diamond I could find!

To remind me of this, I wore two rings for many years. The one on the fourth finger of my left hand represents my commitment to my husband. The one I wore on the fourth finger of my right hand was a simple silver band inscribed with the word “hope” and it represented the commitment I made to God and myself to hold onto hope no matter what happened.

As I tried to “diamond-mine” my difficulties, I realized an important part of holding onto hope is confronting the lies that the enemy tried to tell me. For a long time, the enemy told me, “God isn’t answering your prayers.” Every time I thought about this, I felt despair. What was wrong with me? What did I need to do differently? I lived with a lot of guilt and frustration.

One day when I worked at DaySpring a coworker rushed up to me and said, “One of your cards has been nominated for an award!” I was thrilled. When I asked her what kind of card it was she said, “A Baby Congratulations card.” After she left, I thought about the irony—an infertile woman nominated for an award for a Baby Congratulations card!

I began to think about other things in my life over the last few years. I had unexpectedly helped create a line of baby gifts, written three children’s books, and experienced some new opportunities in my life. I sensed the Lord saying to me, “I have brought new life through you. I’ve answered every prayer that was prayed for something to be created through you—just not in the way you expected.” That moment gave me a tremendous amount of peace and God has continued to confirm it in my life. Whatever lies the enemy is telling you, ask the Lord to show you the truth.

When I think of Mother’s Day being difficult, the person who will always come to mind first is an inspiring woman named Terrie. She endured the loss of four pregnancies and waited seventeen years before adopting a little girl. She told me, “I think one of the most important parts of this journey is learning to trust God. I don’t mean the flippant kind of trust. It’s easy for people to say, ‘You just need to trust God.’ It’s much harder when you’re in the middle of all this pain. But he is trustworthy. Through it all, God has given us an amazing story. I wouldn’t have chosen this road, but He has been with us. I can look back and truly say every step was worth it.”

God sees each one of us. He knows how many hairs are on our heads and how many cares our in our hearts. Whatever you’re going through this Mother’s Day, you’re not facing it alone. As King David, a man who experienced many losses in his life, expressed in Psalm 34:18 NIV, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” May God surround you with love, fill you with hope, and give you strength for each moment— especially this Mother’s Day.

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Sunday, April 17, 2016


So thankful Lord you give me the freedom to be me, that you love me unconditionally with all my faults, that you never judge me, you always love me unconditionally no matter what, you never turn your back on me no matter what, that you constantly give me unconditional Mercy, Grace and Love, that you never give up on me, for the confidence you give me that you will always be by my side and never forsake me when others do. That you always remind me I'm worthy of being loved and accepted by others and by you most importantly. That you know my heart and character better than anyone. You are my best friend Lord in this whole world above all others. Please don't let me ever forget all these things. May I as broken as I am always be a Beautiful Broken Vessel in your eyes and a Heiress of "YOUR" light in this world. Forgive me when I am prideful, when I stumble, when I fall. Thank you for the peace that you give me that you will always catch me when I fall, pick me back up again, dust me off  and encourage me to keep going and not to give up. Thank you that you don't look at my outward appearance but that your eyes pierce my heart when you look at me and you see into the depths of my heart and that you know my heart and my true character that people don't always see. Thank you so much for loving unperfect me so perfectly. Thank you for never rejecting me and for comforting my heart when I feel misunderstood, rejected and abandoned by those I love deeply. Please give me these abilities with all those you have placed in my life. For those I have hurt in anyway please forgive me and give me favor and forgiveness in their eyes and give them Your ability to see into my heart and know me the way you do. Oh Lord that they would know how deep my love is for them and that my intentions are always good and that they know how deeply I love them with all my heart and that  I only want to see them prosperous, healthy, confident and blessed. Where the Enemy has clouded their mind or mine with his lies please reveal the truth and put a hedge of protection around us so no attack the Enemy sends to try and destroy our relationship will ever prosper, may we recognize when the Enemy tries to shred us that the battle is not between us, that we are not each other's enemies that we recognize it as a attack on us by the Enemy. May we humble ourselves immediately and take the battle to you in prayer so the strongholds the Enemy tries to put on us are broken and released. Lord, May I never forget I will always need more of Thee & less of me. I love you so much Lord.

Love your Daughter/Broken Vessel/ Heiress of the Light Vena 

Francesca Battistelli - Free To Be Me Lyrics
Artist: Francesca Battistelli
Album: My Paper Heart
Genre: Christian
At twenty years of age
I'm still looking for a dream
A war's already waged for my destiny
But You've already won the battle
And You've got great plans for me
Though I can't always see
'Cause I got a couple dents in my Fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
And on my own, I'm so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see
I'm free to be me
When I was just a girl
I thought I had it figured out
See my life would turn out right
And I'd make it here somehow
But things don't always come that easy
And sometimes I would doubt, oh
'Cause I got a couple dents in my Fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
And on my own, I'm so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see
I'm free to be me and You're free to be You
Sometimes I believe that I can do anything
Yet other times I think
I've got nothing good to bring
But You look at my heart and You tell me
That I've got all You seek, oh
And it's easy to believe even though
'Cause I got a couple dents in my Fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
And on my own, I'm so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see
I got a couple dents in my Fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
And on my own, I'm so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see
I'm free to be me and You're free to be You

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Do You Accept Who God Made You To Be?

These two blog posts really encouraged my heart and I felt led by the Lord to re-post and share them today with all of my female family members, friends and my S.I.C.S.{Sisters-In-Christ}. My hope and Prayer is that you all will be as encouraged and blessed as I am by these blog posts.
                              {HEIRESS OF THE LIGHT}

Do You Accept Who God Made You To Be?
    APRIL 17, 2015 by KELA NELLUMS 

Recently I was confiding in some sister-friends about how I've started to feel about myself; my body image and the emotions that can go along with.

I’m starting to call myself beautiful.  I’m discovering who I am as a person and as God’s daughter; truly embracing that.

I’m a mom of six and a grandma.  I have hit the 40+ mark and I’m comfortable in my skin.

Can you say that about yourself as a woman? Will you allow it to sink in?

You’re beautiful! Created magnificently.  The words that I write are not just fluffy words, or meant to be just another sound of your mother telling you that “because she has to”.

It is absolutely true!

May I share with you a quote that rocked my way of thinking of myself; my body, my emotions, my past, my shortcomings?

Every woman has a beauty unique unto herself. I have seen beauty in virtually every woman I have ever met regardless of skin type, body shape, hair color, teeth whiteness, or number on the scale. Every woman is beautiful. You are beautiful. I am beautiful. Though I have recognized it in other women for as long as I can remember, I have only begun to see it in myself. Yes, I believe I am beautiful. Some days. Well, some moments. God help us all to believe it more deeply and more often. Because in the places where we don’t believe it, we continue to shame ourselves. And shame will never be an agent of change.
-Stasi Eldredge, {Becoming Myself}

I cried over those words. I saw a better me and a newness that I can’t describe.

Woman. You have worth. You ARE worth. A most prized delight.

The desire of my heart with this post is to speak directly to your soul. To draw out the beauty that’s there. Did you stuff it down? Or worse yet, did someone else stuff it down?

"So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them."
  Genesis 1:27 NKJV (emphasis are mine)

There is a love song being sung over you, dear sister. Your Creator, The Almighty takes that time to lavish goodness on you.  He’s thinking of how you’ll love that unique snowflake that makes its way into your palm, or that new Spring bloom that is your absolute favorite flower, and that sand between your toes that you've waited to feel since the last time.

He gives beauty to His beauty. Yes! You!

If you’re struggling with believing how beautiful you are or even who you are, I want to direct you to Jolene’s beautiful telling of her personal story of rejection and acceptance: 
What I Want You to Know

Be blessed, beautiful sister!

Kela Nellums

Monday, April 6, 2015


Today I'm posting this blog on behalf of a issue that is heavy on my heart. 
This cause is very heavy on my heart in a deep and personal way.


FACTS:  "2 million children are being trafficked as sex slaves
 in the world today. "

                       "It's time to rescue them."

"I Heiress of The Light  {Aka Vena} have accepted the "FLOUR BOMB VIDEO CHALLENGE" to raise awareness and money to fight child sex slavery and trafficking and to rescue children across the world from this awful crime and to end the awful crime of child sex trafficking and exploitation." Sex slavery and exploitation is child abuse for money. This is happening right here in your backyard." 

(At least 200,000 children per year are sexually exploited in the U.S. alone. 

Source:National Center for Missing & Exploited Children)

There are two million children across the globe who are held captive and bought and sold for sex.
          SOURCE : (UNICEF)
I have donated at to stop this awful crime and to save the children. 
"I challenge all my Blog Followers/Readers, YouTube subscribers, all my Facebook Family Members, my Friends, Brethren and anyone else out there to accept my challenge for you to make a FlourBomb Video, upload it to all your social media websites and go to the website and donate within the next 24 hours from today 4-6-15." GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

For info on how to make your own FlourBomb Challenge Video go to

GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D


The Crown that I wear does not tarnish;
It's not made of worldly ores. I don't need to polish and store it in a vault or behind metal doors. The Crown is a gift from my Father whose Son died so that I could be free. What a honor it is just to wear it, For His last thoughts on Earth were of me. The Crown has speacial meaning; It's not about worldly success. It stands for the Love of My Lord and Saviour,Which I wear every day like a Princess.